Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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