I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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