I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Can vaginas get frostbite?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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