why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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