the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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