honey bunches of taint.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
