margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
