This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
