Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize