I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
