All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
