belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wish I could teleport
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
