You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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