this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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