All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
