He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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