so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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