i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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