I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
