We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
