Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
