watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
