you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
