you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
