I want to make a zoo with you.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We got so high we made milksteak
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
