He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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