What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
