I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm lost and stupid without you.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
