Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
