Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
