btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
