im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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