I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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