Can i not drive my cunt home
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
