it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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