yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
