By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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