The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
