I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i just google imaged poop.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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