He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
