Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
