it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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