Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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