My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
