We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
