I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
