just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
