I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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