If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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