so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
