Having a random hookup so left but love u
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
