I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
