If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
