Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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