didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
