I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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