I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
