Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
