whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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