the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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