The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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