i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
