If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
