she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize