their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
